Our sense of worth should never be determined by someone else’s inability to commit or communicate effectively. Often, it’s the manifestation of another’s inability to reconcile their lingering emotional turbulence, not you.
Ah, affairs of the heart. They captivate us all and at times quite irrationally, especially when they are brand new.
In the beginning, they can make us weak-kneed and dreamy. They are fun, intoxicating and seemingly limitless. We are consumed by every aspect of our potential partner.
From their lingering scent to their handwriting, their unique style to the way they say our names. From a gentle caress to the naughtiest of nights.
We want more. We want it now.
“Every glance made him need another.” James Salter
We want all of them. We become mesmerized. We yearn for this stranger to inch closer and closer to us. It makes us feel alive. We matter. We want to be important in the eyes of another.
We can quickly become fixated, irrational and entangled in our insatiable desires to explore this to the fullest.
We get a taste of the sensuality and we lust for more. We also crave the tender, close moments of connection. There is nothing quite like it.
Who doesn’t like to cuddle? We all do.
At first, it is so exciting.
We have fixated our attention on the ideal image of our potential partner and dismissed, every so easily, any embers of concern.
We become immersed within the courting phase. Moonbeams and rainbows are all that we fixate on. We attempt to deflect and suppress whatever negativity may be creeping out the closet.
There may be burning flags but they are too far off in the distance to be relative. We choose to ignore them for now. We can deal with those later.
But sometimes later never comes.
What we thought was the ideal relationship. The one we have craved and wished for isn’t turning out the way we had hoped.
“I thought you hung the moon.” John Green
Our counterparts have stopped abruptly in their tracks. Plans aren’t materializing and the reasoning is becoming less apparent and less realistic.
We are making time for someone who is wasting time avoiding us.
A Quick Side Note: If you are boiling rabbits and calling the person 72 times per day (Fatal Attraction, circa 1987), you have created the distance yourself. You must accept your own reality as well.
We are in disbelief or more accurately, denial. Accepting rejection is a difficult proposition. It crushes our sense of self-worth and our self-esteem.
It is also telling of who we were about to go deep with. Avoidance and deflection aren’t honorable. They are cowardly and shameful tactics from someone without the courage to speak the truth.
Someone who is potentially hiding something or simply unable to deal with their vulnerability, therefore they run the other way and dismiss it as no interest.
Back to avoidance. These issues aren’t yours to own nor for you to manage.
Rejection isn’t a reflection of you. It’s the manifestation of another’s inability to reconcile their lingering emotional turbulence.
By waiting around for a person to decide if they dig you enough is a declaration of your self-worth. You are worth far more.
You’re enabling a period of indecision. A period where they are potentially exploring, a period where they are being unfair to you.
More importantly, it’s a life-sucking realm to reside in. You’re allowing this person to extract the essence of who you are. They can safely remain indifferent as you have filled their oxygen tanks to full. You have given them a bye card.
Possess the belief and self-awareness that you are worth far more and that you deserve more. Ultimately, you will discover more.
You have illustrated the courage to commit and enter the realm of possibility and love. A place where you’re exposing your vulnerability and willingness to give your heart to another.
Stand tall, shoulders back and chin up.
It is time to move on. Life will provide an abundance of opportunities if you open yourself up to them.
Believe in the beauty of possibilities and you will discover that life has a unique way of manifesting exactly what you desire.
Stay positive and stay true to yourself.
Thank you for reading. It is appreciated.
“And, above all things, never think that you’re not good enough yourself.” Anthony Trollope